Archives: Shayas Stickles

Balancing Act
Parshas Yisro begins with the words Vayishma Yisro,’that Yisro HEARD.
All of the commentators delve in to what Yisro heard, and how what he heard motivated him to join Klal Yisrael, but less attention is given to the Torah’s emphasis on the sense of hearing specifically.

The beginning of next week’s Parsha discusses the laws of a Jewish slave sold for stealing. If a Jewish slave doesn’t want to leave his master after six years of ‘service,’ the Jewish Court will drill a hole in his ear because ‘the ear that heard by Har Sinai that we are not allowed to steal, and yet he stole, should be pierced….’
Again, why is it specifically the EAR that gets punished? The hands stole and the legs carried him to do the act of stealing, so why is the ear singled out?

The Medrash tells us that it is possible for a person to be completely sullied in sin with his entire body, but if his EARS haven’t sinned, there’s hope that he can do complete teshuva. Why again is the emphasis on the ears?

Perhaps we can understand the significance of the ear based upon the following: Our ears have two functions; they are the conduit for our hearing, and they give us our balance.
We are taught that every one of our senses has a spiritual side in addition to it’s more overt physical side. The ear represents the ability to be open to listening to words of rebuke, as well as the ability to ‘balance things’ objectively in order to figure out what is the correct path to take. When we sincerely calculate whether our actions are the correct ones, then we have the ability to grow and improve.

However, if a person rationalizes away everything he does with preconceived notions and is not open to hearing the truth, then there’s no hope for his doing teshuva. Hence, someone who steals after hearing clearly by Har Sinai to not steal must have his ear pierced to teach him that there is something inherently wrong with the function of his ears that is causing him to go astray.

Now we can understand Yisro as well.
Yisro had served every Avoda Zara in the world, but since he was open to HEARING and thus to finding the truth, he became the father-in-law of Moshe, with the Parsha of Kabalas Hatorah named after him.
Yisro is a prime example of the Medrash that as long as one’s EARS aren’t sullied in sin, there is always the capability of doing Teshuva.

May we all work on keeping our ears ‘spiritually healthy,’ i.e. to always be open to hearing the truth, and to always ‘balance’ everything we do before we do it, to make sure as best as we can that it is Ratzon Hashem.

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Our Team

In the beginning of this week’s parshah, Parshas Beshalach, the Pasuk says that when Bnei Yisroel left Egypt they were ‘vichamushim’. There are a number of explanations for what ‘vichamushim’ means.

According to one opinion, it means that only one fifth of Klal Yisroel left Egypt. Four fifths of Klal Yisroel were killed during the plague of darkness because they weren’t worthy of redemption.

A second explanation for ‘vichamushim’ is that the Jews were armed with Mitzvos. However, the Pasuk tells us that on the day they left Mitzraim, they were empty of Mitzvos. So what Mitzva did they have now when they left?

The Targum Yonasan interprets ‘vichamushim’ to mean that each family had ‘5 tafla’. Tafla means children, so the simple understanding of the Targum is that each family had five kids. An obvious question on this explanation is that from EACH pregnancy the women had [at least] SIX kids. So what does the Targum mean that they only had FIVE TAFLA???

The Baeir Yosef provides us with a beautiful approach that answers all of these questions: He explains that the four fifths of Klal Yisroel who died were only those who were twenty or older and therefore able to be punished in the Heavenly Court. Their kids were certainly not deserving of punishment and were therefore not killed. Thus there were many orphans who had no parents. The remaining one fifth of Klal Yisroel adopted all the orphaned kids! That is what the Targum means when he says 5 ‘Tafla’, i.e. five FAMILIES of kids. That besides their own kids, each family adopted four other families, so that all the children of the 4/5 of Klal Yisroel who died would have surrogate parents! That was the big Mitzva that they were armed with when they left Egypt!

We all know that throughout the recent generations there have been many Jews who have chosen different paths and have not remained committed to Yiddishkeit. They have produced many ‘orphans’, kids and even grownups who don’t know anything about the beauty and depth of Yiddishkeit and what our mission in life is. There are a number of organizations and special people who help fix this sad trend. All of the Gedolei Yisroel laud their work and encourage all of us to do our share in this holy Mitzva. We can all support these organizations [each person according to his/her financial situation] AND do our share in bringing these ‘orphans’ close to Yiddishkeit; by inviting them to our Shabbos meals, talking & acting respectably in the work place and the street, etc.

I would like to connect this idea to current events. Why is it that people are so into watching and rooting for sports teams when they are not even the ones playing?

I think the answer is that Hashem put into the world the ability to associate oneself with others. ‘That’s my team’! Like every mida, character trait, and force in the world there is the ability to channel this force for the better. Just like one is proud when the team in his city wins the World Series or the Super Bowl, one should try to be proud of the spirituality of one’s city. We should take pride in the talmidie chachamim and chashuva Rabbonim of our city. We should take pride in the great Yeshivos, schools, and Shuls of our city. We should take pride in the unity and harmony of our city. And just like people care so much for strangers on a team that doesn’t know them at all [and probably doesn’t care one bit about them] let us all try to use that force to care for Jewish strangers who are distant from Judaism. They’re also on our team!
In the merit of this crucial Mitzva which parallels the Mitzva we had when we left the exile of Egypt, may we merit soon the final redemption speedily in our days.

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Holy Sparks

This week’s Parsha begins with Hashem telling Moshe to ‘Come to Pharaoh…..’

Why does the passuk say ‘COME to Pharaoh? Shouldn’t it say ‘GO to Pharaoh?’

The Yaaros Dvash quotes the Arizal that one of the purposes of exile is to gather and obtain the ‘netzotzos shel kedusha’ [sparks of holiness] that were scattered throughout the world after the sin of the Eitz Hadaas. Once all of the sparks from a specific area are gathered, Hashem then sends us to the next place to gather all of the sparks in that area.

With the above explanation, we can have a deeper meaning of the Pasuk ‘vayinatzlu es mitzrayim’ [They emptied out Egypt]. The simple explanation is that it is referring to the gold and silver that Bnei Yisrael took from the Egyptians, but based on the Arizal, the Yaaros Dvash offers a deeper explanation. It is referring to all the holy sparks in Egypt that Klal Yisroel gathered and they were therefore redeemed to travel to their next place! This also explains why it is forbidden to go back to Egypt, as all the sparks of holiness in Egypt are gone, hence all that is left there is impurity!

Using this Yaaros Devash, we can now explain our Pasuk. Moshe had the mission to extricate the holiness from Pharaoh, who was the epitome of impurity in Mitzrayim. Hence, Hashem said ‘COME to Pharaoh, My presence is here in the palace and I want you to come extricate that holiness from Pharaoh!’

This explains why afterwards Moshe agreed with Pharaoh that he would no longer see Pharaoh’s face. Once Moshe had succeeded in extricating the kedusha, he was no longer allowed to look at Pharaoh’s face, as now Pharaoh was completely and totally wicked, and it is forbidden to look at the face of a wicked person!

Let us all try to work on sanctifying everything we do here in America, which Rav Chaim Volozhiner, the great student of the Vilna Gaon, said is the last country of exile. Hence, each of us will do our share in gathering all the sparks and then hopefully we will soon merit the Final Redemption.
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20/20 Vision

Parshas Shemos ends with a seemingly dark ‘endnote’ by Moshe failing in his mission to end the servitude of Bnei Yisroel under Pharaoh. In fact, the servitude intensifies, Moshe is bewildered, and G-d reassures Moshe that He will free the Yidden, but the Parsha ends there, with Moshe not understanding how and when that will occur.
This week’s Parsha begins with the verse ‘And Elokim spoke to Moshe and said I am Hashem.’ What does this Pasuk mean? Why does G-d’s name change from “Elokim to Hashem?”

I think the explanation is as follows. We are taught that ‘Elokim’ is associated with the Mida of Din-[strict judgment], whereas ‘Hashem’ is associated with the Mida of Rachamim-[mercy]. Hence G-d is saying to Moshe ‘now I am going to show you that what you thought was strict judgment is really absolute Rachamim and for your good’.

Parshas Vaera then discusses the first seven Makos, which are the prelude to the amazing exodus from Egypt, where we left slavery, loaded with the riches of Egypt, on our way to Matan Torah, the greatest moment in all of history.

We all go through difficult times where things don’t seem to make sense. At times, our efforts to grow and work on issues seem to make things worse, just as it seemed to Moshe at the end of last week’s Parsha. Perhaps the Torah specifically ended last week’s Parsha at that point to teach us this lesson about life. No matter how difficult the situation that we are dealing with is, there will always be a new ‘parsha’ where everything will make perfect sense. Sometimes we merit to see it ourselves in our lifetime and sometimes we have to wait for Yemos Hamoshiach to understand it, but there always is another chapter which will reveal to us that everything was Rachamim and for our benefit.

May we all merit to see that clear ’20/20 vision’ of our mission and purpose in life very soon.

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Finding Hashem even in Challenges

There is an enigmatic Gemara in Sotah which discusses a Pasuk in this week’s Parsha. The Pasuk says “ותתצב אחתו מרחק לדעה מה יעשה לו -and his sister stood at a distance to know what would be done to him.”

Rav Yitzchak comments that this whole Pasuk is a reference to Hashem’s Shechina. And for every word in the Pasuk, Rav Yitzchak brings another Pasuk that uses that same word in reference to Hashem.

When I first learned this Gemara a number of years ago, I thought to myself “Cute Gemara. Each word in the Pasuk is the same word used in reference to Hashem elsewhere in Tanach.” And I thought nothing more of it. However, after my mind was opened up to the depth and beauty of Torah and I came back to this Gemara, I pondered why specifically on this Pasuk is Rav Yitzchak telling us that all the words are related to Hashem? And what is Rav Yitzchak teaching us?

Let us backtrack for a moment to understand the story taking place leading up to this Pasuk. Miriam had a prophesy that her mother would give birth to the leader and savior of the Jewish People. When Moshe was born, the entire house lit up with a special ethereal light and Miriam’s father, Amram, told her that her prophesy had been fulfilled. Everything looked wonderful. But then ‘trouble’ struck.

After three month of concealing Moshe from the Egyptian authorities, Amram and Yocheved were no longer able to hide Moshe, as the Egyptians were searching for all babies. Moshe was placed in the river. A three month old baby, in the Nile River amongst crocodiles!

According to some commentators, Moshe’s mother had despaired of his life. His father, Amram, gave Miriam a clap on the cheek and said ‘what happened to your prophesy?’ It seemed that even Amram, the Gadol Hador, was bewildered and confused! Everything looked so dark and dismal.

This is precisely where Rav Yitzchak’s explanation comes into the context of our Pasuk. Rav Yitzchak explains that this whole story is about the Shechina. “Shechina” refers to Hashem’s divine providence and supervision of this world. Rav Yitzchak is telling us that although it may look dark and frightful as though G-d isn’t there, in reality, not only is he there, but everything that you think is so bad is really just the opposite.

In the Purim story everything looked dark and bleak. Haman built the gallows to hang Mordechai. But then there was a total reversal, and Haman was hung on the very gallows that he had constructed!

I believe that the same dynamic is taking place in our story. It looked so dark and bleak that Moshe was going to drown in the river, but in reality just the opposite was taking place. This act of being put in the river saved Moshe’s life and allowed him to be the leader and savior of the Jewish people! How so? The Gemara tells us after Moshe was thrown into the water, the astrologers of Pharaoh-who had predicted that there was going to be a Jewish boy that would redeem the Jewish people-told Pharaoh that they no longer see any threat from the Jewish leader. [They had foreseen Moshe would have some issue with water, which is why they wanted to drown him, and once he was put in the water they thought he was neutralized.] Pharaoh then abolished the decree of killing all the babies. Hence Moshe being put into the river not only did not kill or injure him but in fact saved his life and many others as well!

This is what Rav Yitzchak is telling us about the story. It may look so dark and bleak, but in reality just the opposite is taking place. Hashem’s divine providence is orchestrating the entire story!

In life we all go through troubling times where it is very difficult to see Hashem’s Hashgacha. Let us all take this lesson to heart, to firmly believe and acknowledge that although it feels so painful and doesn’t seem to make any sense, Hashem is there always and everything that is happening is for our benefit.

May the day come soon when we will be able to look back at every incident and challenge in our lives and make the Bracha of ‘Hatov Vihameitiv’, with the profound recognition that everything that Hashem did was truly for our benefit.

Rebuke- The Greatest Blessing

This week’s Parsha contains the blessings that Yaakov gave his sons before his death. A close look at the psukim, however, seemingly reveals that Reuvain, Shimon, and Levi did not receive any blessings at all. Instead, they were rebuked. And yet the Torah tells us that Yaakov ‘blessed each (son) according to his appropriate blessing,’ clearly teaching us that all of Yaakov’s sons were blessed. How can we understand these psukim?

I think the answer is that rebuke is not only not a curse, but [at times] can be the greatest blessing one can receive. We are all born with faults that we need to work on and fix, but human nature is that most people aren’t clued in as to what their own faults are, as they rationalize away all their actions and bad midos. It’s very easy to find faults in others, but much harder to find flaws in ourselves. So when Yaakov rebuked Reuvain, Shimon, and Levi, Yaakov was really blessing them, as they would now better be able to work on themselves, and rectify their actions.

With this understanding, I think we can now appreciate a Mishna in Avos. The Mishna tells us that ‘One should make for himself a Rebbi…. and judge everyone favorably.’ What is the connection between these two seemingly disparate teachings?

I think the answer is that once you have a Rebbi who clues you in to your own shortcomings, you then realize that even YOU YOURSELF are not perfect, hence you can then judge other people favorably by realizing that everyone is born with issues that need to be worked on!

May we all always consult with our mentors and introspect to figure out what our issues are so that we can then work on them, improve them and grow closer to Hashem.

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Accepting Challenges

The Pasuk tells us that when Yosef couldn’t keep up his facade, he ordered “everyone” to leave the room, so he could be left alone with his brothers. The Pasuk continues to say that “there was no EESH [man] present when Yosef revealed himself to his brothers.” If Yosef, the viceroy of Mitzrayim, commanded everyone leave the room, it goes without saying that everyone would leave the room. The Pasuk doesn’t need to tell us that they all left. Who then is the Pasuk referring to when it says there was no ‘Eesh’ in the room?

Rav Shmuel Brazil suggests a novel answer with an important message.
When bad things happen, it is common for people to blame the bad event on someone or something. “Had we only gotten a better doctor grandpa wouldn’t have died” or “Had we only been driving on a different street/lane he wouldn’t have been hit by the car.”

Such an attitude displays a lack of faith in Hashem. Yes, we are supposed to do our hishtadlus to be as careful as we can, but ultimately, when bad things happen to us, R”L, we must realize it is from Hashem. That is what the Torah is teaching us about Yosef.

What caused Yosef to be sold down to Mitzrayim? His father sent him to Shechem to visit his brothers. He arrived in Shechem and his brothers were nowhere to be found. He met an ‘EESH’ [the angel Gavriel] who told him where his brothers were…. Had Yosef not met that “EESH,” Yosef wouldn’t have known where his brothers were, he could have returned to his father, and then seemingly everything would have been fine and dandy. Hence now, when Yosef is revealing himself to his brothers and explaining his story, he could have easily partly blamed that ‘EESH’ and/or them for the immense suffering he went through.

That, suggests Rav Brazil, is what the Pasuk is referring to when it says ‘There was no EESH there when Yosef revealed himself to his brothers’. I.e. Yosef DIDN’T mention the EESH at all and didn’t blame him [or anyone else] at all for any of his suffering. He recognized that it was all part of Hashem’s master plan for him to come down to Mitzrayim!
Every day we should think about the words “ani maamin b’emunah shileimah that Hashem is boreh umanhig.- I believe with complete faith that Hashem is the one who creates and runs the world.”
May we all take this lesson to heart to never blame other factors for our suffering and pain. Rather, let us recognize that it is all part of Hashem’s master plan for us to fulfill our mission in life and grow closer to Him.

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Chanukah 5778

The number thirty-six seems to play a significant role, both in the creation and continuance of the world, as well as during this time of year.

On Chanuka we light a total of 36 candles. For the first thirty-six hours of the creation of the world, there was an extremely powerful spiritual light that shone forth. However, Hashem foresaw that it would be unfitting for the wicked people to benefit from, and He therefore hid it away for the Tzadikim in the world to come.

The Seforim tell us that there are a few places where this special light is hidden in THIS world, enabling us to tap into this extra special holiness. It is hidden in the 36 candles that we light on Chanuka. It is hidden in the 36 tractates of Shas. And it is hidden in the 36 Tzadikim that exist in every generation.

The Seforim teach us that Yosef Hatzadik was the epitome of a hidden Tzadik; in fact, he was the ‘head’ of all hidden Tzadikim. Hence, we see a deep connection between the Parshiyos we lain Chanuka time concerning Yosef and the holiday of Chanuka. Yosef’s mida is the sixth Sefira/ Mida, the Mida of Yesod, hence ‘Yesod Shebiyisod’ which epitomizes Yosef takes place on the thirty sixth day of Sefira! Also the daf [folio] of the Gemara in Sota which discusses the story of Yosef with the wife of Potiphar, and how Yosef overcame the test and earned the title Yosef HATZADIK is on DAF…, you guessed it: lamed vav [thirty six]!

I would like to suggest that although there are more than thirty-six people receiving this email and therefore it’s not possible that we are all members of the ‘Thirty-Six Tzadikim club,’ we can still tap into their strength and holiness when we perform Mitzvos in private, and where there is no fanfare and honor.

Hence on Chanuka, which the Seforim tell us corresponds to Yosef Hatzadik, we have an enormous amount of potential to tap into all three places where the special light is hidden: Torah, the Chanuka candles, and doing mitzvos in private.

We can now appreciate on a deeper level the Halacha that one should learn Torah right before lighting the Chanuka candles; as then one will be tapping into two places where the special light was hidden!
In fact I recently learned that the word כסלו is made up of two words, ‘כס’ which means hidden and ‘,לו’ i.e. that the very name of the month that Chanuka begins in, signifies to us that in this month there is hidden the holiness of the ‘thirty six’s!

Specifically now, during the darkness of the winter, at the time when the Greeks tried to spiritually contaminate us and get us sullied in sin, we have the potential to tap into this incredible abundance of holiness. Let us all try, each according to his or her level, to access some of this special holiness that is ‘in the air’ of Chanuka.

May we then merit soon the day when this beautiful light and holiness will shine forth once again in its true glory and grandeur, with the coming of Moshiach speedily in our days.

Growing From Challenges

[Editor’s Note: Shaya did not have a dvar Torah on Parshas Vayeishev, so I am sharing with you an inspiring vort from Rabbi Frand.]

In the middle of the narration of the story of Yosef and his brothers, the Torah interjects the story of Yehuda and Tamar. Yehuda had 3 sons, the first son – Er — was married to a woman named Tamar. Er died and then the second brother — Onan — married Tamar. When Onan also died, Yehudah did not want to allow his third son (Shelah) to marry Tamar. Tamar disguised herself and tricked Yehudah into performing a form of levirate marriage with her. When she became noticeably pregnant, Yehudah accused her of being unfaithful to his family. Rather than embarrassing him and announcing that he made her pregnant, she merely ambiguously said that she was pregnant from the person who gave her certain items as a security pledge.

Yehudah recognized the items as his own. Rather than deny the fact that he was indeed the one who lived with her, he admitted that he was the father of her children. In fact, one of the two sons born to Yehudah and Tamar (Peretz) eventually became the ancestor of King David and the Davidic dynasty.

Immediately after this interjection, the Torah resumes the story of Yosef, telling us that he was brought down to Egypt and placed in the house of Potiphar, Pharaoh’s officer, chamberlain of the butchers.

Rashi explains the juxtaposition of the two stories by the words “And Yehudah went down…” [Bereshis 38:1]. Yehudah had been admired by all his brothers; however after the sale of Yosef (which Yehudah suggested as an alternative to killing him) and the deep depression that overtook their father Yaakov, the brothers dethroned Yehudah from his role of leadership. They told him “had you insisted that we return him to our father instead of killing him, we would have also listened to you!”

When the narration of Yosef resumes, there is a similar expression of descent: “And Yosef was brought down to Egypt” [Bereshis 39:1] Here, too, Rashi comments on the linkage of the two stories and the fact that Yehudah was dethroned from leadership because of the fact that Yosef was brought down to Egypt.

The Shemen haTov comments that the incidents that occurred with Yehudah and Yosef may both be described as “yerida”, but there are tremendous lessons to be learned from these so-called “down-falls”. As things turned out, both descents were opportunities for these two brothers to achieve their maximum potential and to reach the high-points of their respective lives. This sordid incident of Yehduah’s involvement with Tamar and his public embarrassment over it may seem like a low-point. However, it was this very admission which gave Yehudah his claim to fame. Yaakov later said “Yehudah, you your brothers will acknowledge” [Bereshis 49:8] as part of the blessing that he gave to Yehudah. Jews are called by his name (Yehudim), not by the name of any other Tribe. Why are we “Yehudim”? It is because Yehudah did something that took a tremendous amount of self-discipline and honesty. He admitted: “You are right. I was wrong.”

This story, which began as a tremendous down-fall for Yehudah – he was dethroned, he was abused – this could have been his Waterloo, was in fact the nadir of his life. Things looked bleak, but he rose to the occasion. He became Yehudah and he demonstrated the power of confession (Hodaah – same root as Yehudah) to all of us.

Yosef also suffered tragedy after tragedy. He was sold as a slave to Egypt and then he was thrown from there into prison. But this descent too, this terrible period in his life, gave him the title by which he is known for all time: Yosef haTzadik [Joseph the Righteous]. Yosef was tempted by the wife of Potiphar and withstood the temptation. There are very few people in Jewish history that are given the title “Tzadik”.

The lesson of both these narratives is that sometimes we are thrown into circumstances that present us with tremendous challenges. We look like we are at the bottom of the pit looking up, like we have suffered an irreversible setback. Sometimes these very situations present opportunities to meet those challenges and thereby greatly improve our life situation.

The dual descents of Yehudah and Yossef turn out to be opportunities that gave these two sons of Yaakov the ability to achieve great accomplishments and to acquire immortal greatness.

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Remaining Silent

The Gemara in Megilla states that as a reward for Rochel’s tznius (modesty) when she gave Yaakov’s codes to her sister Leah, she merited having a descendant, Shaul Ha’melech, who had the Midah of tznius as well. Where did Rochel demonstrate Tznius in this episode?

Yaakov had given Rochel a code to make sure that Lavan wasn’t deceiving him by giving Leah instead. That code, the commentators tell us, was the Mishna in Shabbos: that a woman can die during childbirth for sinning in either family purity, not separating challa, or not lighting Shabbos candles.

Rochel gave over this code to Leah, but she did so it in such an obscure manner that Leah didn’t even realize that she received a code. Leah just assumed that it was a law that she needed to know for marriage. Subsequently, when Yaakov posed the challenge to determine her identity, she replied correctly, and hence Yaakov thought it was Rochel….

Later in the Parsha, Reuvain comes from the field with some special fertile ‘dudaim.’ Rochel innocently asks Leah for some of the dudaim, as a proactive way to merit having a child. Leah replies, ‘not only did you take MY husband, you want to take the Dudaim of my son as well?!’

This Pasuk is astonishing. What was Leah thinking? This was ROCHEL’S husband that Rochel selflessly gave up to her?! How dare Leah respond this way?!

However, using the above explanation, everything is now clear. Rochel had shared Yaakov’s code in such a discrete manner that Leah didn’t even realize that she had taken ROCHEL’S husband. This is what the Gemara means when it says it was in the merit of the TZNIUS that Rochel had that she merited having a descendant Shaul Hamelech.

There is a very powerful lesson that can be gleaned from here. Rochel was suffering and was in immense pain, due to her being barren. She asked a simple innocent question to Leah and was lambasted for it, when in truth, Rochel’s request was completely justified. She could have easily responded to Leah with a sharp retort and exposed the secret, yet she kept quiet. This superhuman Gevura of remaining silent when she was totally in the right, merited her the privilege of being the one and only person whom the Medrash tells us was able to ‘appease Hashem’ at a time when Hashem wanted to totally abandon Klal Yisroel. This is the tremendous merit we invoke while davening at Kever Rochel.

But instead of just going to daven at Kever Rochel, wouldn’t it be rational to assume that if we want to truly invoke Hashem’s mercy, that we emulate and follow in the WAYS of Rochel as well?
Let us try to think about our matriarch Rochel and muster up the Gevurah to remain silent, even when we can respond justly. The reward for this will be immense, as the Gemara in Rosh Hashana states: ‘whoever overlooks the wrongdoings that others do to him/her, Hashem will overlook his/her’s wrongdoings.”

May we all try to emulate this strength of character and thus follow in the ways of our holy Matriarch.
{Most of this is based on a Shiur given by my Rebbi, Rav Kalman Weinreb.}

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