Archives: Shayas Stickles

Parshas Vayechi 5782

Yosef and Habit-forming

When Yosef came to visit Yaakov at the end of Yaakov’s life, Yaakov prostrated himself towards the head of the bed. Rashi tells us that Yaakov was acknowledging that his bed was whole, i.e. that all of his children were righteous; and that even Yosef who was the viceroy and had been sent into captivity [which were very difficult trials & tests] had remained a steadfast and righteous person.

The commentators ask why was Yaakov only acknowledging this now at the end of his life? Right when Yaakov came down to Mitzrayim, he saw that Yosef was a Tzadik, and hence he should have acknowledged it then? Why only NOW at the end of his life, after seventeen years in Mitzrayim did Yaakov acknowledge that [even] Yosef was a Tzadik?

The Meshech Chochma answers that Yaakov wasn’t just acknowledging that he WAS a Tzadik at the present time, he was acknowledging that now he knew Yosef would for sure REMAIN a Tzadik.

Why did he only acknowledge that now? The Meshech Chochma provides us with a clever insight and calculation to explain this.
Yosef was thirty when he was brought to Pharaoh. Yaakov came down to Mitzrayim after the two years of famine following the seven years of plenty. So Yosef was thirty nine when Yaakov arrived. Yaakov lived in Mitzrayim for seventeen years. That means that when Yosef came to his father at the end of his father’s life, Yosef was fifty six years old. The last Pasuk in the Parsha tells us Yosef lived for one hundred and ten years, which means he was just over the halfway mark of his life when he came to Yaakov. And the Gemara in Yoma tells us that once a person lives most of his life [i.e. more then half] and hasn’t sinned he won’t sin anymore. Therefore, explains the Meshech Chachma, it was specifically now that Yosef was past the halfway mark of his life then Yaakov was assured that Yosef would remain a Tzadik!

As a side note, we see from this Gemara a lesson about habits. Just as when one sinks into a bad habit, it becomes so hard to break out of it, so too with a good habit, it becomes very hard to break out of it. When we become accustomed to doing what’s right, it becomes easier and easier to keep doing whatever we are doing. It requires persistence and perseverance in the beginning but then it gets easier and easier as time goes on. And then there comes the time where the issue we were struggling with becomes a nonissue anymore, and our point of nisayon [challenge] moves on to higher and greater things, in our lifetime quest for ultimate success in Avodas Hashem.
May we all continue to climb our personal and unique ladders in life to serve Our Creator.
Have a great Shabbos!

Lighting up the Darkness

The number thirty-six seems to play a significant role, both in the creation and continuance of the world, as well as during this time of year.

On Chanuka, we light a total of 36 candles. For the first thirty-six hours of the creation of the world, there was an extremely powerful spiritual light that shone forth. However, Hashem foresaw that it would be unfitting for the wicked people to benefit from this special light, and He therefore hid the light for the Tzadikim in the world to come.

The Seforim tell us that there are a few places where this special light is hidden in THIS world, enabling us to tap into this extra special holiness. It is hidden in the 36 candles that we light on Chanuka. It is hidden in the 36 tractates of Shas. And it is hidden in the 36 Tzadikim that exist in every generation.

The Seforim teach us that Yosef Hatzadik was the epitome of a hidden Tzadik; in fact, he was the ‘head’ of all hidden Tzadikim. Hence, we see a deep connection between the Parshiyos we lain Chanuka time concerning Yosef and the holiday of Chanuka. Yosef’s mida is the sixth Sefira/ Mida, the Mida of Yesod, hence ‘Yesod Shebiyisod’ which epitomizes Yosef, takes place on the thirty sixth day of Sefira! Also the daf [folio] of the Gemara in Sota which discusses the story of Yosef with the wife of Potiphar, and how Yosef overcame the test and earned the title Yosef HATZADIK is on DAF…, you guessed it: lamed vav [thirty six]!

I would like to suggest that although there are more than thirty-six people receiving this email and therefore, it’s not possible that we are all members of the ‘Thirty-Six Tzadikim club,’ we can still tap into their strength and holiness when we perform Mitzvos in private, and where there is no fanfare and honor.

Hence, on Chanuka, which the Seforim tell us corresponds to Yosef Hatzadik, we have an enormous amount of potential to tap into all three places where the special light is hidden: Torah, the Chanuka candles, and doing mitzvos in private.

We can now appreciate on a deeper level the Halacha that one should learn Torah right before lighting the Chanuka candles; as then one will be tapping into two places where the special light was hidden!

In fact, I recently learned that the word כסלו is made up of two words, ‘כס’ which means hidden and ‘,לו’ i.e. that the very name of the month that Chanuka begins in, signifies to us that in this month there is hidden the holiness of the ‘thirty six!’

Specifically now, during the darkness of the winter, at the time when the Greeks tried to spiritually contaminate us and get us sullied in sin, we have the potential to tap into this incredible abundance of holiness. Let us all try, each according to his or her level, to access some of this special holiness that is ‘in the air’ of Chanuka.
May we then merit soon the day when this beautiful light and holiness will shine forth once again in its true glory and grandeur, with the coming of Moshiach speedily in our days.

{Editor’s note: I would like to add just a short thought to Shaya’s beautiful words about Chanukah.
Over these last 23 months, there has been lots of darkness that has seeped into our daily life. Each and every one of us was affected by Covid19 in a different way. Hashem gave each and every one of us a challenge that was tailor made to suit us. Many of us have been isolated from our own relatives. Grandparents not being able to kiss grandchildren. People having to make Yomim Tovim alone without family around to help them. Not being able to go out to a market for months. Lots of darkness, which can lead to so many unhealthy things.

Perhaps especially this year, let us make a special effort to look at our candles and lights that are burning. When we look at the Chanukah candles, let us try to allow that light to enter our very hearts and minds. Let it awaken true happiness and cause the dark fog that has descended upon us to dissipate.

As we light our candles, let us continue to remember to have gratitude for all the lights in our life, i.e. the blessings that Hashem has bestowed on each and every one of us. With that, may Hashem bless us with a year filled with good health, parnassah, happiness and all the best things in the world!
Have a wonderful Chanuka!}

The Power of a word & Musings from Thanksgiving

{Editor’s note: I would like to share with you a thought on this week’s parsha based on a vort from Rabbi Frand.
Parshas Vayeishev recounts how Yosef is thrown into jail and despite this, manages to make his way to the top of “warden hierarchy” in the prison. One day, he meets Pharoh’s butler and baker and sees that they both look sad. Yosef asks them, “Why do your faces look so sad today?” These words uttered by Yosef changed history. It was only due to this that the Butler eventually mentioned Yosef’s name to Pharoh and Yosef became the viceroy. Mitzrayim changes as a result and Klal Yisroel is changed as a result. All because of a couple of words. You see the power of a word.

Words are so powerful; if they are used in the right way, they can be used to express affection and love for a spouse or child. Complimenting someone can change his entire day, week and possibly even his life. However, it can simultaneously be used for the negative. Inappropriately criticizing a child or student can shatter a child or student forever.

We all remember fleeting comments, both good or bad, that were made to us. So fleeting that the person who said it probably didn’t remember the next moment. But those words have stayed with us for a lifetime.

This was something that Shaya lived by. He always made sure to greet people with his trademark smile and compliment them on something. It could be the way they were dressed or something that they may have said. Shaya knew just the right words to say to raise people’s spirits. Those compliments people will remember for a lifetime!

May we all learn from Yosef to open our eyes and really see what a spouse/child/neighbor/friend is going through and be there for them. Sometimes, all they may need is a few words of encouragement and love to help them get out of their sorrow. With that, we should merit to bring the Third Temple speedily in our days!

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I would like to share a thought that I was thinking about today. There are various opinions about Thanksgiving as to whether a Jew is permitted to celebrate a Thanksgiving dinner and with Turkey. Even among those who forbid a person from having a Thanksgiving celebration, I think that there still is a lesson to be learned from Thanksgiving.

Our Rabbis tell us that every experience that we experience and every thing that happens in the world is meant for us. There are many stories with the Chofetz Chaim who wanted to hear more about things that took place in other parts of the world because he said Hashem wants us to take a lesson from it.

Based on that, I was thinking to myself that even if I don’t have a Thanksgiving dinner at home, maybe there still is something that we can learn from a day that many people celebrate as a day of Thanksgiving. How careful are we to show our proper thanks to Hashem for everything we have? How many times do we really focus on Modim to thank Hashem for everything that He bestows upon us? How often do we show our thanks to our spouse/child/coworker/friend/boss/government worker for doing something for us?

As Thanksgiving ebbs away, let us use this time to reflect on ourselves and to try to improve to show more gratitude both to Hashem and to one another and with that we will make this world into a happier place. Thank you for reading this dvar torah!:)

A Beautiful Symphony

Parshas VaYeira describes the events leading up to Yitzchak’s birth as well as his birth. Yitzchak’s birth is the solidifying act in ensuring the continuation of our people. In fact, Yitzchak himself is the solidifier par excellence; taking all the inspiration of his father Avraham, and being that crucial link in the chain for the perpetuation of our people. What is it that makes our people so great and special?

The Mishna in Avos asks ‘what is the proper path to take in life?’ The Mishna answers, ‘it is the path that is tiferes [glorifying] to the doer and to the viewer.’ The Mishna continues ‘we should be careful with light/small Mitzvos like strict/important ones.’ What is the connection between these two seemingly disparate statements?

I would like to suggest the following relationship. The key to living and exuding a truly special lifestyle is to treat ‘small’ Mitzvos as we do ‘big’ Mitzvos. Why? If you think about it, what is it that makes us dislike a certain person, even if that person keeps many Mitzvos? It is that he isn’t scrupulous with his adherence to ALL Mitzvos. He performs the Mitzvos he considers important, but is lax in his observance of mitzvos he deems unimportant. That makes him be despised by people who are wholesome, who deem important the Mitzva that he is lacking in. For example, if a person considers learning Torah an extremely important mitzvah but doesn’t consider Midos Tovos and being a Mentch as important Mitzvos, then he is going to be despised by many people who are seeking the genuine Torah path. Alternatively, if a person has good midos outwardly but doesn’t consider it important to refrain from talking bad about the people he interacts with, then he is going to be despised by insightful people who realize he is putting on a show.

Most of us unfortunately have what we think are the most important Mitzvos, and then the Mitzvos that we think aren’t as important. If we treat the Mitzvos like that, then we will be lax in the ‘small’ Mitzvos and will not be living a ‘tiferes’ lifestyle, and it will be noticeable to others. Hence, right after the Mishna tells us that the proper path in life is the path that is glorifying to the doer and the viewer, the Mishna tells us to be careful in what we consider small mitzvos, as that is the trick to truly living a glorifying lifestyle, both for ourselves and for all of the people that view us.

This, I believe, is what makes us truly great and special. Innately embedded into the mitzvos by Hashem is the ability to live a balanced, healthy, rich, and beautiful life. When we observe ALL the Mitzvos properly, we tap into that richness and beauty, and thus become a special and beautiful people.

May we all take this lesson to heart, to realize that each and every Mitzva is an important part of what together makes up a beautiful symphony, but without all of it, it is just noise that will not be appreciated.